Hope, Trust, and A Little Bit of Weird
So, it has been awhile. Sorry to leave you all hanging, I have been doing a lot of living the past two months. But here I am, back in the states, sipping kombucha at my mother’s dining room table in my fleece pajamas.
I have wrote SO MANY posts in the time where I haven’t posted anything. I have left them all unfinished because there always seemed to be one giant ellipsis hanging over each moment. Really, I still feel like there is one giant ellipsis hanging over my life right now. Everything feels a bit unfinished and I am weirdly okay with that. Maybe I have learned a thing or two being in Uganda. Like how to really just be in the moment, how everything will eventually work itself out, how small steps in one direction eventually lead to something much bigger than we could ever imagine.
This past weekend, as I was on one airplane after another, I realized that at this exact time last year I was on an airplane where I met the women who introduced me to DIG. Without that plane ride, without the fracture boot on my ankle that sparked conversation, I would have never made it to Uganda. Call it what you will—divine intervention, fate, serendipity, ‘the woo’—whatever you choose, just know it is out there. I have witnessed it, experienced it, felt it. If you take anything from this post or whole series of posts I hope it is just that. That hope and trust and a little bit of weird happenings will take you a long way.
My life the past six months or so can be viewed as one big ‘Lost and Found’ bin with items continuously flowing in and out. True duality. I have been literally and metaphorically lost. I have lost people. I have lost things. I have lost my yoga practice more times than I can count. And I have definitely lost my mind on more than one occasion. But I have found way more than I have ever expected. I have found a sense of belonging. I have found love. I have found strength. I have found ease. I have found a home.
I have mixed emotions about being back. My heart is shattered, yet so full at the same time. I get to be with my niece and nephew, spend time with my mom, grandma and sister, and have coffee with my soul sisters. There are iced coffees and smoothies. And I would be a liar if I said I wasn’t insanely excited about the grocery stores and yoga studios. At the same time, I left a whole other life behind. A life that no one here can really understand. And that is something I think will take a while to manage.
So, what is next?
I will be teaching yoga in Mercer County at two places. I will be finishing my work with DIG. I will be enjoying the holidays with my family. In January, I am finishing my Yoga for 12-Step Recovery (Y12SR) certification in San Diego. In February, I may travel to Atlanta for a bit and then I look to return to Uganda. I might even sneak a trip to India in there on my way back over. I don’t have a specific job waiting for me over there, but I have a life there. I plan to keep teaching and writing way more. All the while conspiring my next chapter. But if we get real, maybe this is my next chapter. Freedom and flexibility. Travel, writing, yoga, and all the love.
I send you all the love and light in the world. Thanks for following me on this weird, crazy, amazing chapter of my life.